October 8-31: The Days I Grew

Growing pains - funny things, those guys. Painful, annoying even, but a sign of forward momentum. Akin to the changing of the leaves, almost, in the way of perceptions. Brilliant colors or death in bloom? Either way, we close one season and we begin another, and in the middle of it all, the sun rises and sets, rises and sets. Sometimes it feels like that continuity is a betrayal of my emotions. How dare this earth keep turning when I'm still working through today, or even yesterday? Sometimes it’s a blessing - I think left to own devices, I'd hit pause and in my longing for understanding, I'd be reluctant to ever hit play again. Paralysis in analysis, I guess. And once again, His wisdom prevails - He knows the purpose of the movement, of the seasons, of the pains that lie in transitions, and the fullness of the beauty that lies on the other side.

As mentioned in September, we came to a decision about the shop - we chose to close the doors. Not forever, mind you, as we have sincere hopes of reopening in pie-only venue. There's a lot more to say about our future wishes & dreams, which I’ll share in due time. For now, though, we’re done. I spent the weeks following that decision rolling those words on my tongue, waiting for the foreignness to rub off, hoping for the heat to not rush to my face when asked about the state of things. And in the waiting, there was the living. October has always been my favorite month of the year. It carries so many celebrations, and Oct 2012 was no exception. Here’s a run-down of the highlights (which obviously didn’t include daily blogging)

·          I gave up Facebook for a couple of weeks. I felt altogether disconnected and reconnected, from the world and to My World, respectively. I’ve left behind the need to update the “world” on my ever move/meal/outfit/activity, something I am so, so grateful for. I came back primarily to update internet friends on the shop changes. I feel another fast coming in my future, though.

·         I took maternity photos for my knocked-up pal {wonderful coworker} and her baby daddy {husband}. I warned them that I’m not a pro, but they insisted and I accepted – a fun challenge! Also, I’m better at photographing dogs than people. Ha.

·         Caught my little brother’s last soccer game, which they won. I also snuggled the littlest nephew, gave him his first taste of dill pickle (not.a.fan.), and watched the big one rule the playground in his cowboy hat and wooden sword. All’s well ‘til a stranger gets stabbed.

·         Husband went on his first “business trip” to a training session in Houston. I’m a big baby and luckily have friends who don’t judge my not wanting to stay at home alone for 3 days. Crashed at the parents and the hetero-lifemate’s. I enjoyed the brief return to life with my parents though – dinner made at night, coffee ready in the morning. Aahhh.

·         Celebrated 4 wonderful years with that man of mine – we went to the movies, to dinner, played 20 questions, visited the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit, did some thrifting, some sewing and crafting (Yes, my husband can sew. Better than me after only one try. I don’t want to talk about it.) There aren’t enough words to sum up how thankful I am for that man, for 4 years of laughter, barefoot kitchen dances, play fights, late night movies and a friendship that continues to grow. Blessed beyond measure.

·         Finished out our anniversary weekend with a trip to the state fair – bonus, I didn’t eat myself into sickness this time! Speaking of sickness, after scouring the entire fair ground for the perfect ride, Husband ended up choosing the exact ride that made him sick last year. Ended the night with tacos @ Taco Cabana

·         Had a doctor’s appointment that ended with good results. Vague, but it’s a praise worth sharing, nonetheless!

·         Baked what felt like a million cupcakes for our church’s marriage retreat. Bonus: eating all the mistakes. Yummy, yummy mistakes.

·         Watched God, yet again, do wonderful things in the lives of married couples during the retreat. We weren’t there to partake or directly witness, but the stories of mended hearts, renewed commitment and just plain miracles keep coming up. I am so thankful for parents and friends who are passionate about marriage, about not just making it last, but making it wonderful.

·         Subsequently received my first order for custom cupcakes. More mistake eating! Side note, dear Lord I’m never eating cupcakes again. Also, went through like 3 lbs of butter in just a few days. Yessir.

·         Hit, and passed, preggo friend’s due date – only by a few days, though. Welcome to the world, Natalie Ryan!

·         Phoned in my last-minute Halloween costume – I was a ceiling fan (read: I wore a shirt with the words “Go Ceiling!” ironed on the front and carried around some pom poms). Got to go trick-or-treating with some of the little people in my life, though! Captain Hook, Smee and Mario! Cutest ever.

So there you go. The storms may rage, but the Lighthouse is in the living, not just the surviving. Praying I continue to drink in those moments instead of waiting for my exit from the valley. There’s hope in the shadows of those mountain tops. Wellsprings of hope.

Love & Perspective,

K