Feb 24 - The Day The Second Call Came and Our New Road Began

Friday morning dawned and our house felt crowded with the unspoken thoughts we both shared. We stood in the kitchen, making a game plan for the day, shuffling schedules to make room for hospital visits, when around 6:50, the phone rang in the next room. Jon went to answer, and I heard nothing of the conversation as I listened to music in the kitchen. It was only a moment before he stepped into the doorway, pale-faced, and I knew. "He's gone." No words made sense to say, and my embrace felt so small a response to what my husband had just said. I asked if he was alone, and he said no, Terry had gone to be with him in the middle of the night, and she was by his side when he passed. I silently thanked God for small mercies, knowing the peace this fact would bring in the coming hours and days. Jon needed to go, to be alone for a moment, and though everything in me wanted to hang on to him, I knew I had to let him be. I appreciate the personality God gave me, but in moments like these, I hate that I'm a "fixer". There is no way to fix the breaking hearts of those you love, no way to make the pain go away or the situation resolve itself quickly. My insides grew knots as I mentally worked through all that was about to transpire. I couldn't physically do anything except be there, so be there I would. I updated my boss on the situation and told her I wouldn't be coming in this morning.

I watched my husband bravely take on his responsibility as oldest child and big brother, as he made the hardest phone calls imaginable to his siblings. His shower was long and cleansing, the tears falling as steady as the water that washed them away. A salty shower, he called it. The only words I kept finding were "I know." We headed to the hospital to be with Terry, and what a long drive it seemed. On the way, Jon questioned aloud whether he could face seeing his father in this state. The sweet memories of the day before prevailed in his mind, and he was unsure if he wanted to trade those last moments. We tabled the decision, waiting to cross that bridge until we had to face it.

We met Terry outside the doors of the hospice wing, and to Jon's relief, she echoed his sentiments about seeing his dad's body. He was at peace with his last moments with his dad, and she didn't pressure him to go and see him again, so he chose to preserve the memories as they were. She told him of the early morning's events, how she felt unable to stay at home in bed and just knew she needed to come back to be with Wes. She arrived close to 5:00 am and at 6:45, his heart finally came to rest. She combed his hair and straightened his appearance, and began to make the second round of difficult calls. Everyone knew it was coming, but no one knew just how fast. We were told on Thursday to expect about a week. No one could know as we left his room the night before that those would be the last moments. And I think, even with it being so incredibly difficult, that was best. I think Wes knew it was best, too. He was tired and he knew his family was at peace with his decision to let go, so he did. It was only fitting that his last moments be spent with the woman who had carried him through these 8 trying years. And again, we thank God for knowing better than we do.

The hospital waiting room soon filled with family, including my dad who came to offer his support and help with the hard decisions that now had to be made. Though it's not his profession, he knows many things about funerals and many people who deal with grieving families every day. His assistance was such a blessing. The heart wrenching continued as I watched my husband and his sister collapse into each others arms. They knew the pain they shared in a way I never could. As the oldest siblings and the only two who made it to the hospital, they talked with Terry about the next steps. Thankfully, all agreed to carry out Wes' wishes for cremation, and all felt at peace with not having a viewing of his body. I am eternally grateful for Terry and her willingness to consider and include the opinions of Wes' children. That family knows what it is to have a step-mom come in and take control away from children (as Wes' step-mom had done to him), and Terry made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that she would never be that way. What a blessing that there was no arguing or disagreement in how to carry out his final wishes.

God's hand was so evident in the entire situation, particularly in the ways that you can only see from hindsight. Our business partner and best friend had gotten a job only a few days before this situation escalated. For reasons unknown, there was a delay in her paperwork and she would not be able to start until the following week. This allowed her to easily take Jon's place at the shop, without worry or hardship. Wes' longtime caregiver, who was like family, had put in her two weeks notice only one week before. They were sad and worried over her departure, not knowing what they would do when she was gone. God planned her exit so perfectly, making sure she was still there when they needed her, and allowing them to avoid terminating her employment. Hours after she had received the call about Wes, she was at their house, cleaning and taking care of the medical equipment. Twice in recent months, Jon had the opportunity to stay with his father while Terry was away. I thank God for these moments that my spouse can cherish. Only a few weeks before, Terry had begun attending a new church, a church that is now offering to let her have services there for free. Her new church family is welcoming her at the most needed time. You'll never convince me that all this is coincidence. It was just the opening gate and clearing of the path we were all about to walk down. He makes our way, He upholds our path. He goes BEFORE us and goes WITH us. (Deut 31:8)

The remainder of the day was spent in fellowship over food (we are southerners, you know) and planning the services for a beloved spouse, Dad and Poppy. God's orchestration continued as the people at the funeral home, friends of my father, allowed the family to have any urn of their choosing, free of charge. To a family on a budget, this was no small matter. Jon and Terry spent the afternoon going through photos, some of which Jon had never seen, as well as listening to recordings of Wes doing what he loved most, playing music and singing. Later that evening Jon showed these to me with beaming pride and a hint of sadness. The more we looked and listened, the more it kept ringing true in our minds: you really can't know or appreciate what you have until its gone. So I'll hold my spouse a little tighter, I'll put of chores so I can sit with him a little longer, I'll say thank you a little more for what I have today.

Highlights:
1) Family isn't defined by bloodlines.Thank God for that.
2) Friends are an unbelievable blessing. Thank you to all who offered words, prayers, food, and to those who are basically just sitting Shiva with us.
3) New Life. Our sweet baby niece Adele gave us all a welcome smiling and cooing distraction. Sometimes I think that's why God makes babies. The presence of a new life as we reflect on one that has just ended is a reminder of renewal, of growth, of the consistency of God's creation. Sweet, sweet girl.

Love, Closing Chapters & New Beginnings,

K

Feb 23 - The Day The Healing Began

God's definition of healing can look so different than what we might imagine, ask or hope for. And yet, He knows best. We headed to work on Thursday morning phones in hand, waiting for any update from Jon's step-mom. The morning was quiet, until I got a text from Husband: "They're putting him in hospice. This is the end." I think its funny how you aren't aware of your internal organs until they feel as if they've dropped to your toes. I called him and encouraged him to leave work, let someone take his shift, and for him to head to the hospital. He did so, but he stopped at home first. He told me of his overwhelming sadness, of dissolving into tears on our bed and just wanting to take a nap after his good cry. My heart literally ached. I would miss my father-in-law, but my heart mourned more for the pain that my best friend was now going through. My lover. I wished that I could take it all away from him. I wished that I had the words to fix what I knew was beyond repair. And yet, I know my God heals.

My husband and his siblings didn't have perfect relationships with their father. A divorce, hard feelings, regrets and silence built a wedge between them over time, but slowly in recent years, they had begun building a bridge back to each other. Things were hard, but there was love. And in these moments, I knew that all of their hearts would be hurting not just for the death of their father, but for the death of what could've been. For what should've been. Regret is a painful pill to swallow. This is why I rejoiced when my dear spouse told me that he had spent the day talking with his father. He apologized for all that was heavy on his heart, and his dad understood. Though Wes's body was failing, healing was still taking place in that hospital room. Past hurts were being put to death, and the peace was taking over.

I came to the hospital as soon as I was able, and found the family gathered around Wes, still in the ICU. The room seemed so quiet without all the machines, and Wes was resting as we waited for a transfer to the hospice area of the hospital. We soon made our way to a much warmer, more comfortable room in the hospice wing. The rules are much more lax here, so everyone got to crowd in, and we continued the story-telling, the laughter and the "being". My husband remarked that its unusual to hear so much laughter in a place that revolves around death, but I think that's exactly how it should be. It saddens me, though, to know that it took this type of situation to bring us all, biologically and maritally linked as we are, together in one room. Better late than never was never so true a statement.

The visitors included myself, Jon, Jon's sister Katie, her husband Chris, their baby Adelle, Jon's little brother Taylor, their mom Tracy, Wes's wife Terry, her son Steven and her daughter Kerry, and of course, Wes's guardian, his granddaughter Mosey. Wes was alert and responsive, and he acknowledged all of us. He was always a man of few words, but even more so since his stroke. He has a way of speaking with his eyes, though. The nurse knew good and well that he didn't care for the taste of his medicine, and she laughed with us at his expressiveness. Even still, he was able to tell Jon that he loved him. Those words will remain precious in our minds, I think.Watching my husband care for his father - giving him a drink, fixing his blankets, cleaning his mouth, and even feeding him a french fry - spoke volumes to my heart about the man I married. All I can say is thank God.

We stayed for a couple of hours, until sleep started to to set in. Family trickled out, each of stopping to tell him that we would see him tomorrow. Jon and his brother lingered, saying their goodbyes again and adding more "I love you"s. As we walked to the car, Jon told me that though he will miss his father, he felt surprisingly at peace, and counted it as only the grace of God. He said over and over how thankful he was for the day they had spent together. For the stories he heard for the first time and the ones he loved to hear repeated, for the honest talks and abundant tears, for the blessing of knowing his father heard and understood. I'm thankful too, my love. More than you know.

Highlights:
1) I have a new found appreciation for hospice nurses. I'm convinced they are a special breed, and I appreciate their willingness to take on such a calling.

2) I have an even deeper appreciation for my step-mother-in-law. What a woman! To remain so devoted to her ailing husband, to care with such selflessness...I almost have no words. She is a rarity in this day and age and we are immensely grateful for her and all she has done in Wes's life.

3) Neighborhood Grill in Fort Worth: these people deserve an award, not only for their amazing food, but for the kindness we receive every time we walk in the door. I know they must get a ton of hospital traffic and I hope they know that their smiles (and food) are such a blessing to those who cross their paths.

Love & Long Goodbyes,
K

Feb 22 - The Day We Got The First Phone Call

Some days in our lives warrant far more than a paragraph. The next few posts represent just such days. The details are hard to write, but I think its needed. Bear with me.

Husband and I banter playfully in the mornings, usually yelling at each other from opposite ends of the house. So, when I heard him talking but couldn't make out the words, I yelled back "WHAT?!", but no response came. I thought this was unusual, so I went looking for him.I found him sitting on the bed, paying no mind to me, and I realized I was not the intended recipient of his words. He was on the phone and given the hour, I knew it was likely something/someone important. I sat next to him and waited for the news. "Dad's in the hospital. He has sepsis and he's in PCU. Terry says its serious and we should go." My heart fell as I watched his face do the same. Wes was no stranger to hospitals and his health had been rocky, in varying degrees of severity, since 2004 when he suffered his first stroke. Since November, though, the ER and hospital visits had become more frequent, and the problems became harder to treat. For a man not yet 55, he had been given more than his fare share of mountains to climb and valleys to walk through, and it seemed we were facing the biggest ones yet.

More details trickled in as the day wore on: He's been upgraded to ICU. He's on a ventilator.He's chosen, and Terry has agreed, that no extraordinary measures should be taken to sustain his life should his heart stop beating. I called my mom, a nurse, to relay the info and she told me as honestly and gently as she could just how serious the situation was. I think on some level we all knew it, but those are the kind of words that just have a hard time actually leaving your lips.

Jon left work as soon as he could to go and join his father, and I did the same. Friends and family were already there, and thankfully, the nurses in the ICU didn't protest our blatant disregard for the "2 visitors at a time" rule. We crowded in his room, and as he dozed in and out of restless sleep, Wes knew we were there. He looked good, but the heart monitor was insistent with its warning beeps, letting us know just how hard he was working. The doctors were starting a treatment to target the infection, and now it was just a waiting game.

His granddaughter, my 5 year old step-niece, stood as a watchful guard over her "Poppy". My parents came to wrap their arms around Jon and just be there as a support. Jon's sister, her husband and their sweet baby girl came, too. Jon's step-mom told stories about her beloved spouse. It was a sweet time of familial fellowship. At times like these, when you can't physically do anything to help or change the situation, its amazing how important it becomes to just "be" with each other.

Highlights:
1) It is nothing short of beautiful to watch the people in your life come to your defense, with words of encouragement, prayers of healing and again, just "being" with you.

2) In the midst of what could have been a somber situation, that hospital room rang with laughter. You never appreciate joy as much as you do when it defies the odds of your present circumstances. Thank God for that.

3) My parents. What on earth would I do without them? The way they take up the causes of those they love astounds me. I told them they didn't have to come to the hospital, but they said "KK, its family. Its what you do. We'll see you there." Blessed.

Love & Hard Days,
K

Feb 21 - The Day We Dove Into Colossians

After the extended weekend, my spirit should've been rested and ready for my regular schedule to resume. As is usually the case for me, though, my spirit acted much more like a toddler who would rather scream/cry/throw things at the wagging finger of a parent than submit willingly to what had to be done. Childish heart o' mine. And yet, I think it's got the right idea with this whole friends > work thing...
Luckily, I had small group to look forward to. We started our study of Colossians and it went beautifully. I'm lucky to know such smart, heart-driven, God-loving people. We barely got through the first chapter, and I can't wait for next week!

Highlights:
1) Another kitchen incident for me: I was making tortilla soup, sans recipe, and everything was going smoothly until I decided it needed more cumin. Did you know ground coriander looks a lot like ground cumin? Especially when you buy spices in bulk and they're both in identical plastic bags? Coriander may technically be cilantro, but make no mistake, you don't want to accidentally dump it into your tortilla soup. Blech.

2) The girls at group harped on me for not updating the blog as regularly as I had originally. But, life happens! I AM doing it, but sometimes its more important to be present IN your life than to be on a computer writing ABOUT your life (hence this post coming 6 days late)

3) We noticed in our study that Paul, in his corrections of the church at Colossae, continually points back to Christ. Over and over and over again. He doesn't admonish and then point to himself. He acknowledges the true plumb line, Christ, and he knows that by comparison, its only too easy to see our own shortcomings. I just love it!

Love & Learning His Word,
K

Feb 20 - The Day We Thanked Washington For Being Born

Dear Mr. First President: thank you for being born and growing up to lead a nation in its pursuit of freedom, the kind which now manifests itself in an official holiday where we do absolutely nothing related to you, your birth, or your patriotism.

Sincerely, 

A grateful American who spent the day lounging and eating cookies in your honor. Sort of. Ok, you were more of an afterthought. I cannot tell a lie. (You see what I did there?)

So, as you can see, I had a very American holiday. We (Husband, Best Friend, and the Pizza Monster, aka BF's Husband/Husband's BF) don't get the chance to do many non-business things together, so when we decide to close the shop for a day, we don't play around. Or rather, we do. The original plan was to go camping, but there was a rainy forecast so we opted for the indoor kind. Like in a house, with a TV and a full refrigerator.  After breakfast and second breakfast, we made our way to the Science Museum, which was awesome. This was followed by movies, new job outfit shopping, popcorn, cookies, and all around good times. Did I mention that I LOVE President's Day?

Highlights:

1) The Science Museum: where grown adults can go and be 5 again. We crafted, we made paper airplanes, we experimented, we took pictures with giant turtle sculptures, we got in water fights with small children...oh, wait, that last one was just my husband.

2) We spent the morning with coffee, on a porch swing, talking about garden plans, the environment, sustainability. In fact, we talked all day. Don't you just love those people with whom both silence and conversation are equally golden?

3) Got Best Friend outfitted for her new role as Michelle Pfieffer in Dangerous Minds, or at least thats what we see her as. Either that or Whoopee in Sister Act II. Maybe a rogue science teacher out to transform the minds of Ft Worth's troubled youth through hip hop? If anyone could do it, she could. Look out, room 11!

Love & Cookies In George's Honor,

K

Feb 19 - The Day We Looked Upon Our Stones of Remembrance

In Joshua 4, God commanded the Children of Israel to gather "stones of remembrance" at the Jordan river to stand as a symbol of what he had brought them through. He didn't ask them to establish a towering monument, built of unbreakable material, or a statue of gold honoring Joshua or Moses. He asked for stones. Humble building blocks of the river bed, to mark in their memories a time when God literally walked his children through rough waters to safety. And they carried these to their next camp. Our God doesn't work in the ways that make sense to this world. He didn't ask for a stationary monument to mark His work, He asked for stones to be carried with Israel, so they would not forget that theirs is a God who does not leave or forsake. He goes WITH them. And those stones didn't automatically tell the story of His works; that job still rested on the shoulders of those who witnessed His hand. So their children might ask, so they might tell, so the world might know. Isn't He so much better at writing The Story than we could ever be?

This Sunday, our little church gathered to brush off our own stones of remembrance. To reflect on where He has lead us over these past five years, and to call our hearts to remember His works and each tell the story of our traveling stones. I say traveling because not all those that gathered are still a part of this body of believers. But, they never left THE body. Our God is a God who never leaves His people.We rejoiced, we reflected, we thanked and we prayed, all the while tracing the hand of a God who walks our journeys with us as He writes our stories. So that we may remember, so our children may ask, so that we may tell, so the world may know. Not us, but You.

Highlights:
1) We aren't technically Baptist, but we are Southern and that means where there is a large celebratory gathering, there is food. LOTS of food. Oh goodness, did we ever eat!

2) I saw faces I haven't seen in awhile, those who came back to CLC to join us for our day of remembrance. What a beautiful thing to see the Body in action, embracing the knowledge that we are ALL in the same Family, regardless of where we plant our behinds on Sunday morning.

3) Husband and I started the "clean for one hour then break" game today. We set a time and busted out some serious cleaning mojo. It worked great! Now, ideally we should've continued this work/break thing for a few more hours, but we only did one. Hey, baby steps!

Love & Traveling Stones,
K

Feb 18 - The Day I Chopped Off My Locks

I started the day with braided pigtails that reached to the middle of my back, and I ended it with a much lighter head of hair that just comes past my shoulders. AHHH sweet relief. From what, you say? From split ends, from heavy hair, from the fall-back ballet buns and ponytails. To most, it wasn't a dramatic change, but regardless, it was change and it made my rainy Saturday. It was a bit out of character for me, since I just walked in, without an appointment or a real plan. The stylist said, "So what do we want to do?" and I simply replied "Cut it!". OK, I was a bit more specific, but not by much! It was the perfect way to end a work day and kickoff a long weekend of dressing up, art shows, indoor camping, food and friends.

Highlights:
1) A perfectly delightful prep session with one of my business partners. He, the male half of our best friends, and I worked in the kitchen that rainy morning, baking amidst bluegrass and folk music, in the kind of unhurried manner that the music seems to call for. It made me wish that every prep session could go so peacefully. I'll just have to work on that!

2) I wore fishnet tights for the first time in public (save dance recitals, that is), and good news - I think I pulled it off without looking like a street walker! ;) I'm always unsure of my ability to carry any trend off, and this was no exception, but I paired the nets with gray tights, a floral dress and black boots and it went off swimmingly.

3) BEST FRIEND IS A WORKING WOMAN! She got the job! To celebrate, we started the evening supporting our talented friends at their charity art show, then followed it up with our normal celebration ritual: food. Mexican, to be exact!

Love & Lighter Weight Tresses,
K

Feb 17 - The Day My Heart Went Haywire

I woke up seriously hungry on Friday, so although I had a breakfast meeting at work, I ate a mini breakfast with my {large} cup of French Roast. Less than three hours later, and after my 2nd breakfast, my heart was beating out of my chest. I've felt jittery before but this was something new. On a hunch, I went to have my blood pressure checked at the gym, and I wasn't surprised to here that my systolic had jumped almost thirty points from it's norms. I felt it! Kind of a wake up call for me - guess I'll have to really stick to that one cup a day, thing.

Highlights:
1) Celebrated my uncle's birthday with my family over an absolute feast of fried chicken, roast and all the trimmings, with a healthy serving of side-hurting laughter. So nice!

2) To help my heart calm the heck down, I went to a YogaFlex class. It helped! Especially that whole relaxation period at the end (which almost turned into nap time).

3) Took a few minutes to hand-write notes to a few friends who were on my mind. It's an art form that is rarely practiced in this age, but I intend to do my part to keep it alive!

Love & Lowered Blood Pressure

Feb 16 - The Day I Had Too Much Coffee, round 1

Thursday's working hours held little (discussable) excitement for me, save the usual chips and salsa, of course. But I started the day with a rather large cup of coffee, which helped with the overall sluggishness that accompanied my morning. Fast forward to after work, when we had a small night out for the ladies from small group. A few couldn't make it, due to work/other plans and sickness, but three of us forged ahead. We chatted and laughed over, what else, more coffee! Little did I know I was getting my heart ready for a little extra work on Friday...

Highlights:
1) Started a new book, Animal Vegetable, Miracle. Its about a family who commits to eating only home grown food or food that they can trace to it's supply source, for the purpose of health, improving their own knowledge of food production, and reducing their carbon footprint. Should be interesting! I want a farm even more, now!

2) Thurs night, we made a gift basket for one of our absent small group girls. It was cute and amazingly cohesive, since the three of us each brought our own "ingredients".

3) Best Friend got a call for a job interview! Both she and Husband are searching for their Dead Poet's Society positions in the educational world (at least that's how I see them. I think I'll start calling them Mr. Keating). Excited for her! Stay tuned to hear results!

Love & Loads of Caffeine,
K

Feb 15 - The Day TX Welcomed Us With Fog

Driving into work on my first day back from vacation, I had a slight case of deja vu. In a scene reminiscent of a few days prior, thick fog hung over the highway and I was unable to see beyond a car's length in any direction. Though I cursed these conditions when I was perched on the side of a mountain, I think I might've traded spots if it meant my destination was a ski lodge instead of a desk. Still, the first day back flew by and I was home and whipping up q delicious dinner with my Love before I knew it!

Highlights:
1) Made Chicken Parmigiana Burgers on the fly. Ground chicken, pesto, garlic, Parmesan, fresh cracked pepper, lightly breaded and pan fried in Olive oil, served on a garlic toasted bun, with homemade spicy marinara. Nom nom!

2) Husband and I went on a walk. As opposed to our usual runs, we actually got a chance to talk this time. A pleasant chance to unwind after our hurried trip and avoid laundry.

3) Speaking of not doing laundry, we finished season 1 of Downton Abby and it was a glorious distraction from housework!

Love & Texas Fog,
K

Feb 14 - The Day We Felt a Whole Lot of Love

I didn't get flowers, but I did get a card hidden in my suitcase. I didn't get a candlelight dinner, but I did get a meal, made by loving hands, around a table with the people I love. I didn't get a fancy night out, but I did get to wake up to mountains, and travel safely back to the house I love. I didn't get a poem, but I did get hand-written blessings, tokens of affection and sweet little four year old kisses. Blessed is a word often overused, I think, but there are moments when it is undoubtedly warranted. This day is one of them. I don't have all the world tells me I need, but I have everything I could want, and I'm saying a prayer of thanks because of it.

Highlights:
1) Realized today that my family argues, but not in the way you might think. Our disagreements stem from trying to give or do for the other person; a battle of niceness, if you will. I don't mind that kind of arguing so much!

2) Sis-in-Law made homemade chocolate-dipped "blessing cookies" (instead of Fortune cookies) with personalized blessings tucked in each one. She's ridiculously creative and thoughtful and I hate her! ;)

3) All 9 of us shared a fancy Valentine's dinner at where else, Rosa's! :) It WAS Taco Tuesday, after all. Again, I'll take these people with fast food over extravagance alone any day!

Love & More Love,
K

Feb 13 - The Day Husband Became Highly Qualified

This day marked the next-to-last step in my spouse's long journey to fulfilling one of his dreams. He is without a doubt one of the most intelligent men I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and the state of TX agrees! He took his TEXES content exam for 8-12 Social
Studies 2 weeks ago and we had to wait until today to see his scores. He was all nerves, but for no reason at all, because he more than passed, he got perfect scores on many of the sections, and an A over all! He is now considered "Highly Qualified", which means he can teach in the state of TX. Next step: classroom!

Highlights:
1) Husband keeps randomly reminding me that he is "highly qualified". Love him and his cute historian strut.

2) It was our last day on the mountain, and though conditions didn't really improve, we weren't going to pass up our last chance to set ski to snow. We braved the cold, and despite the windburn (and leg burn!) we had a great time!

3) On our final night in the condo, all the boys decided to go sledding, despite exhaustion from the day's activities. I love that they get along so well, and also love that the girls do too! We played it smart (literally) by staying inside and playing speed scrabble.

Love & Last Mountain Days,
K

Feb 12 - The Day We Were Two Ice Men & A Baby

We woke to a dramatically different skyline on Sunday. The day before, we were able to see a beautiful mountain scape from our balcony. Now, nothing but white. I LOVE to ski, but I am not a fan of skiing in blizzard conditions. However, beyond my desire for comfort, or warmth, is my incredible cheapness. I already paid for my lift ticket and gosh dangit I was not going to waste it! Husband, brother and I worked up the courage (and layered on the clothes) and headed out for what was certainly an interesting day. Great powder, not too much snowfall, but very low visibility and very cold faces.
Example:

The boys were covered in ice, and I was not shy about voicing my [negative] opinions. Around 2:00, a very thick cloud descended on the mountain, and all hope of seeing where you were going was lost. I could barely see the tips of my skis, and I was more than happy to agree when the suggestion arose that we call it a day. Done! So flippin tiring, but we didn't waste our lift tickets!

Highlights:
1) Nearly got run over my a snow plow. Took my heart a minute or two to recover from that.

2) We watched the Adele show (aka the GRAMMYs). The Civil Wars deserved a full set! Outrage!

3) We ate snow ice cream & brownies. DELISH! Makes me wish we had access to snow more often. Almost better than Bluebell!

Love & Whiteouts,

K

Feb 11 - The Day My Half-Marathon Made Me A Better Skiier

One of my biggest accomplishments last year was successfully running a half-marathon. It's something I never thought I could do, but I did, and the payoffs are still coming, it seems. I've been skiing almost since I was able to walk, but this is by far the best I've felt on the mountain, ever. I don't mean in terms of my ski skills, I just mean overall physical fitness. What a difference regular workouts/running makes! Not only that, but I got to the top of several challenging runs, and when I expressed my opinions, my brother pointed out that I didn't have a ski problem, I had a mental block problem, and I knew he was right. I've run 13 miles! I can do this flippin' ski run! And I did.

Highlights:
1)  We started out skiing as a family, but soon got split up. I spent the day with Husband and my brother, and I must admit, we make a good team.

2) My nephew made a snowman. With antlers. Hey, why not?

3) We all went to the tubing hill, but the ladies decided to chill by the sidelines and watch the ridiculousness that is the men in our family. Both Jarod and Jon managed to zoom right over the barrier wall and into trees. Just call them Talent & Grace.

Love & Ski Slopes,
K

Feb 10 - The Day We Broke A Record

Anyone who knows my family knows that we go skiing every year. And anyone who has ever taken this pilgrimage with us knows that we never, ever leave on time. Our worst departure record is about 3 hours late. Our usual is about an 60-90 min after our intended leaving time. Yesterday, we left just 35 minutes late!! Believe me, this is HUGE. I chalk it up to God wanting us to get here faster. This place, the mountains, is like our 2nd home, our ultimate happy place. After a few stops, including one to pet some donkeys, we made it. That mountain air is like rest for a weary traveler. Thank you, God, for your handiwork!

Highlights:
1) Our home for these few days is pretty much in the middle of the mountain. Unbelievably beautiful! And a 5 minute walk to the lift!

2) Started a new devotional, Women At The Well. I am praying I read it with an open heart, and that God will speak!

3)I tried. I really did, but it was no use. I gave in to my road trip cravings, and I did it with gusto. Pizza, breadsticks, coke, chips, thin mints, ramen, etc. Today, we begin again...

Love & Mountain Air,
K

Feb 9 - The Day I Got Coffee In My Eye. Twice.

There are days and moments where I wonder if it's possible for anyone to be more clumsy/forgetful/disheveled than I am. Thursday was definitely one of those days. And the worst part is, I KNOW it's mostly preventable. But I also know I'm likely to never outgrow it, and that means I'll always have stories to tell. Like my lack of planning leading to me having to run in the wrong underwear. If you're a runner, you know how unfortunate this is. I spent all three miles trying to keep my drawers up. And when, trying to avoid the fuel-less run of last week, I got my coffee but didn't have time to find the lid to my to-go cup, which lead to the coffee in the eye (while driving) thing. And that whole waiting til the literal 11th hour to pack for your vacation. Oh well. It gave me a lot to laugh about, and that's fine by me.

Highlights:
1) when it comes to procrastination, Husband and I make a terrible team. But again, we laughed a lot. Never underestimate the goodness of being married to your best friend.

2) Got Husband hooked on Downton Abbey. As for where we found time for this....see #1.

3) I got to bed by 1:30-ish AM, but Husband decided it wasn't worth going to bed since we had to be up around 4:00. He was probably right, I tossed and turned, dreaming about early 20th century servants and royalty, and worrying I would oversleep.

Love & Procrastination,
K

Feb 8 - The Day Zumba, Dexter & Downton Abbey Got The Best of Me

The start of the day was relatively uneventful (save the oversleeping and being late to work...), and work was work, but my day got more exciting when I punched out and trucked it over to week two of Zumba. This week, the music kept mentally taking me to Miami a la Dexter Morgan's fictional hunting grounds. I have such a strong affinity for all things food, that when I watch that show, I think not about justice or murders, but Cuban food. And Mexican food. And al fresco food with sun dresses and warm breezes. Connect those dots, and by the end of class I couldn't stop thinking about chips and salsa. Husband has no willpower when it comes to resisting my food requests, so we tabled our homemade dinner plans and instead ate some de-lish Tacos al Pastor. So much for those calories burned!

Highlights:
1) Our instructor must've learned her lesson after last week, since this week's routines were much simpler than the last. Surprisingly, I was disappointed by this change. I mean, if we're gonna do this, let's DO this!

2) Downton Abbey: where have I been?! Why has no one told me of this show?? I love it. And as for how it lead to my downfall, well...once you start watching, you'll know. I couldn't not watch, and that meant I got virtually no packing done.

3) Had a status of fb about wanting to be an inspiration to others as well as surrounding myself with those who inspire. I was specifically referring to some of the incredibly creative story-makers I am lucky to know (see "blogs I follow" to the right of this post). Some very sweet ladies in my life affirmed that I was an inspiration to them, but in different ways than I was thinking. Thankful, humbled, encouraged.

Love & Musically-Inspired Food Cravings,
K

Feb 7 - The Day We Crafted for Jesus

In our small group, we try to keep our eyes open for opportunities to be Jesus to the community in practical ways. One such opportunity that came our way was to adopt classrooms at a local elementary school that don't have "class parents". It started with throwing a Christmas party for 1st graders. This month, we were asked to help with a Valentine's party for 4th graders. We brainstormed and decided to make Valentine bags for all the kids to collect their cards in. So, we spent our normal Bible study time up to our elbows in construction paper, glitter, puff paint and glue sticks. I guess it was fitting because it felt like a throwback to elementary days for us. It may not look like typical "ministry", but hopefully these kids will now know someone loves and cares for them, even in the small things. That's Jesus to me.
Here's a snapshot of our handiwork, some traditional, some not, and my favorite personal creation:

Highlights:
1) Breakfast for dinner! Had cinnamon toast for the first time in forever, and it was divine.

2) Started packing for our ski trip. Note to self: try to put all that stuff in ONE place when you unpack this year.

3) Apparently, I was sleepy...I woke up around 1:00 am, fully clothed (including my jacket). It seems I laid down on the bed and just passed out. Husband said I refused to get up or to take off my coat, so he let me be.

Love & Homemade Valentines,
K

Feb 6 - The Day I Washed Away the Blues

Monday morning started just like you might think a Monday morning would: slept poorly, felt bad, turned off my alarm, overslept, late to work, swollen eyes thanks to allergies, and all-over aura of "crap" in my demeanor/appearance. By the time the working day was over, I just wanted a re-do. So, I did something I hardly ever do. The minute I walked in the door, I didn't start straightening the house (we had company coming for dinner), I didn't start cooking, I didn't sit down and flip on the TV. Instead, I kissed my husband hello, then I headed straight for a glorious, hot shower. It wasn't a bubble bath, but it definitely did the trick. We had a dinner/business meeting that evening and I was able to approach it simultaneously rejuvenated and relaxed. Sometimes you just need to hit the reset button on your day, even if it's at 6:00 pm!

Highlights:
1) We grilled for dinner, from entree to sides, and it was delicious. To say that I'm ready for "grill season" is an understatement!

2) Another successful business meeting! I've said it before, I'll say it again, we are so blessed and I am so thankful that we continue to defy the odds on mixing business and friendship. Both just keep getting stronger!

3) Got a little further into "Sink Reflections", and I'm loving it so far. In fact, I think the chapter I read inspired my post-workday decompression session. Plowing through the rest of the book so I can start a new one when we take our roadtrip to New Mexico on Friday!

Love & Reset Buttons,
K

Feb 5 - The Day We Watched That Football Thing

Athleticism is a fairly new game for me (no pun intended). While I now actually enjoy being physically active, my love of fitness has not yet translated into a love of sports, especially watching sports. And anyway, the "sports" I do like don't make for very exciting television (I don't care how much you love running, you can't seriously tell me you enjoy watching the entire Boston Marathon on TV. Save your lies.). All that to say, like 92% of American women, I watched more of the Superbowl commercials and the half-time show (Nicki!) than the game itself. Despite the main attraction of our gathering, I'm always down for party food, and it didn't disappoint. Plus there was Gramma, whom we love, especially when she only refers to the teams by their uniform colors and gets excited about instant replays. Oh, and I got to hang out with this PYT(sidenote: photo #1 is her original outfit. After a, ahem, leakage problem, we had to change her, but the only other outfit we could find was an elf suit (photo #2). BEST):

Highlights:
1) Went out to lunch with family, and friends that are family, to celebrate my Grandmother's 70th birthday. A celebratory lunch could never do this woman justice, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing any of us could do to explain just how influential, cared for, respected and loved she is to us. One of my 12 in '12 to-dos involves spending more time with her and taking in every bit of wisdom I can grab. Praying thanks over the days she's lived and blessings over the ones to come.

2) Stomach = garbage can. Let's see, there were girl scout cookies, taquitos, chips, black beans, hot dogs, pie, brownies, 2 kinds of dip, and potato skins. Oh, I totally paid for that later.

3) Husband and I did something called the 5-4-3-2-1 workout (check it out here). A) I totally kicked his butt, and B) It totally kicked MY butt. We'll be doing this again!

Love & Stereotypical Female Views of Organized Sports,

K

Feb 4 - The Day I Raked Up 19 Bags of Leaves

My husband loves me because I get these really great ideas and then I force him he volunteers to help. Case in point: "Hey Hon, we have the afternoon off, know what we should do? Rake our yard! YES! Oh, there's a million leaves and we only have one rake? AND its a very blustery day? EVEN BETTER!" OK, first, I was only going to sweep the sidewalks, then I started just sweeping the edges of the yard, and then...things just got out of hand. And, in my defense, it wasn't that windy when we started. It only took a few hours before my shoulders were screaming and I was sweating, even with the wind gusts that were blowing my neat piles all over Burleon. Needless to say, I soon joined Husband in the "Whose idea was this?!" camp. That jerk. After hours of that I cleaned the house. I'm a glutton for punishment. (On the upside, my yard and house now look quite pleasant)


Highlights:
1) Garage sales! (This was before the leaf escapade) Best find: a box of VHS Disney Classics for a nickel a piece.

2) Stayed veeery late at work this evening. Here's a tip: when you go to a restaurant, any restaurant but particularly smaller places, please please please pay attention to the hours sign. Save the poor, non-confrontational owners/workers from having to kick you out AN HOUR AFTER CLOSING. *end soapbox*

3) Its been an exhausting day, but there is something so completely rewarding about heading to bed knowing you've used every ounce of energy you've had, and every minute of your day was invested in some way. The satisfaction of hard work is universal, I suppose, no matter the field. Need to end more days feeling like this!

Love & Lots of Leaves,
K

Feb 3 - The Day I Ate Fish

When I was a kid, I ate fish (read: fishsticks) and subsequently threw-up my toenails. This happened 2 or 3 times, which was enough to convince myself that I am/was allergic. Also the perfect out for an extremely picky eater who didn't want to try anything new. In my adult years, with my now dramatically different palate, I've often wondered if I could in fact handle fish. It was on my to-do list for 2011, but I didn't remember this until like Dec 31st, so oh well. Fast forward to yesterday, Husband was eating some tilapia and offered me some. Three amazing things happened: 1) I TRIED IT, 2) I liked it, and 3) I didn't get sick! Now, that could be because I only ate about two bites, but its going down as a success in my book!

Highlights:

1) Bought the newest issue of Bon Appetit magazine yesterday, which was focused on Southern food. I now have a renewed desire to food-tour the Deep South, and to make my husband eat pork. 

2) Went to a Yoga class. I did yoga in college, but it was really more like "I bought a yoga mat, I'm earthy, check me out". So when I actually DID Yoga, I think I fell in love. Challenging and relaxing! I'm hooked.

3) We got our first Veggie Co-Op box today! I'm a little skeptical because of some non-seasonal items that ended up in my box, but I'm not out on the whole thing yet. Stay tuned for updates as I inquire more about my box's contents and learn to cook sugar snap peas.

Love & Tilapia,

K 

Feb 2 – The Day I Ran Without Fuel

This is one of those days that just doesn’t feel like it warrants a post. But, I’m committed, so let’s do this: 

Started the day with a run with a work friend, and to my great dismay, we were out of coffee at my house. That meant running, before the sun was up, with not a drop of caffeine in my system. That post-run coffee at work was like my carrot motivating me to finish. I’m an addict and I know it, don’t judge me!! And, if you’re wondering, it was GLORIOUS (the coffee, not the run, duh).

Highlights:

1) Chips and Salsa Thursday! Am I going to write this every other Thursday that I eat chips & salsa? Maybe.  It really is that exciting to me, people.

2) Made more of that delicious broccoli for dinner, and ate it all to myself because Husband started the Flat Belly Diet for Men and he’s only on day 2 of the jumpstart (no broccoli allowed!). I later regretted the decision to inhale all those little green trees as I burped garlic/broccoli for the next 3 hours. Just saying.

3) Went to work on invites for my nephew Roston’s welcome party. You know what happens when you put two incredibly indecisive, mediator personalities in one room to start a project? Nothing. Nothing happens. We went round and round on wording, design, paper size, and “for the love of cheese, should we use ‘of’ or ‘for’?!” Despite all that stood against us, we actually DID manage to make a little traction, and we had fun along the way! Roston, you will have a glorious party! Even if it takes us a reeeally long time to decide what we’re doing! :)

Love & Indecisiveness,

K

Feb 1 - The Day I Zumba'd

I've got rhythm. I've got what were at one point referred to as "child-bearin' hips" (thank you, stupid high school boy). You'd think a fitness routine based on shaking said hips to latin beats would come naturally. Before I mess this experience up with my words, let me show it with a picture:

That about sums it up. In case you were wondering, having a beautiful, curvacious Latina woman as your instructor does not help your I'm-a-skinny-little-white-girl-with-nothin'-to-shimmy complex. Don't get me wrong, it was FUN. But fun and letting someone ever see me do this in a public forum? Two totally different things. If nothing else, these classes (which I'll be attending through February) will be a lesson in humility and just plain getting over myself. Maybe that's the point...that and amazing abs.

Highlights:
1) Started walking with a new buddy at work today. Striking out for new friendships isn't a particularly strong suit of mine, but I'm working on it, and this is helping! Looking forward to fostering friendship and fitness.

2) My brother won the science fair! He's on a smarty-pants roll this year, winning the spelling bee, math olympics, and now the first place position out of all the 5th and 6th graders in his school for the fair. He was one proud pup, but he's at that stage where even though he calls to tell you about this victory, when you congratulate him, he just says "yeah, thanks, I guess" in that "no biggie" fashion. Go on brush yo' shoulders off, boy.

3) We went out for a celebratory dinner at the restaurant of Landon's choice. Never one to try something new, we of course went to Chili's. Upside: I split the Margarita Chicken with my mom - really good, and a perfect size (and not too unhealthy) meal! Downside: they saw his medal, they gave him chocolate cake. I resisted at first, but then there was just a little piece that sat there, uneaten...it begged me to save it from its loneliness. Just tryin to help a cake out, ya'll.

Love & Latin Rythms,

K

Jan 31 - The Day I Made It One Whole Month

1/12th of the way there! Some posts were long, some posts were short. Some sentimental, some sarcastic, some exciting and some quite dull, but all were honest, and I'm proud of myself for making it through the month of January with a blog for each day. I've gotten into the habit of making notes of what's going on as I go throughout my day, something which keeps me alert in the present - always a good thing.Now to brace myself for the continuation of this online adventure. The original rules still hold: I give myself permission to be imperfect, not on time, not  thrilling, so long as it gets there and its honest. Let's roll, February!

Highlights:
1) Mexican feast with my favorite small group! We had a few who weren't able to come, and the result was a regular shmorgishborg of Tex-Mex deliciousness. I made taquitos and flautas, which brings me to my next point...

2) The thought descended (or rather crashed) down on me today that I am a full-blown overcommitter. This came to me as I'm standing in the middle of my now grease-splashed kitchen wondering why I, a working woman whose spouse works on Tues. nights, would commit to making not one, but two types of fried food on said Tues. night. Not enough fun for one? Let's throw in cornbread and dip, too! I got it done, but I had to leave my kitchen in a wreck, I was late and I (and my house) smelled like a greasy diner.  Gotta work on this one...

3) Read an email from my father to our church family which contained a story on his experience with one of my neighbors. He told of his interaction with her, learning her story, taking a moment to be a part of her life. The story had nothing to do with me but as I was reading, I realized it has everything to do with me. Thought #1: I'm a terrible neighbor. I'm selfish. Thought #2: Fix this. ASAP. So...I'm going to throw a block party. Stay tuned for the actualization of this bright idea.

Love & Successful Blogging,

K