March 2 - The Day We Celebrated Life

I've been delaying writing this post for a few days. I don't know if it's because of the subject matter itself or my fear that I won't do the subject justice. But I do know that NOT writing would be a disservice to the present. I can't write the posts for the days that followed until this one is penned and published. It can steal the joy and power of the present instead of creating a foundation for good things. I think that's why we have these services. Not to forget, but to move forward; to create a stone of remembrance and celebrate the ones we had already gathered on the journey. It allows us a concentrated moment to focus in on what was lost, and then life keeps going.

Driving the other day Jon said, "so what do we do now? I don't know what to do." I empathized, understanding the feeling that life feels like it should stop. As if the normalcy of every day would dishonor what had just taken place. But the sun keeps setting, keeps rising, and so we live.

We spent much of the service chuckling at stories or photos. It may seem contextually out of place, but to me, there is never such a call for laughter and smiles than when you reflect on someone's life. I hope people laugh at my funeral. I hope the joy of the stories can temper the sorrow of such a day, as it did on Friday afternoon. We listened to recordings of Wes doing what he loved best: playing music. Friends and family hugged, tears fell, and a life was honored. Not the mistakes, the hardships or the illness, but a LIFE. And I looked at my dear husband and his sweet siblings, products of that life. I saw my sweet niece, who will never know her Poppy. And though these things seem laden with sorrow in light of what's been lost, they offer the sense of hope, too. A reminder of the continuity of life, of the reason that we pause only briefly to focus on the grief. If we didn't, we might never know or appreciate the fullness of today, the brightness of tomorrow.

Highlights:
1) running = cheap therapy. We started the day with a run and you wouldn't believe the stress-relieving affect it can have. It helped us start the day clear-headed.

2) we went to lunch at the home of Terry's brother. What kindness these people extended to their family, familiar and not so.

3) we finished off the long, long day with having the siblings over to hang out, grill, bonfire and super Mario bros. Once again, "being" is so important, and I'm lucky to get to do that with such great people. Also I got to sing my niece to sleep. :)

Love & Living,
K